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Lorde Announces Her Next Album Is Delayed After the “Indescribably Painful” Lossof Her Dog

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Lorde is taking some time to mourn the death of her beloved dog Pearl.

In a message to fans on Saturday, the 22-year-old singer opened up about the devastating loss, which took place last month. “To my friends,” she wrote, explaining that although she hasn’t been “in contact” with her fans as much as in the past, she had spent most of the year working on new music in New Zealand.

“It’s been going pretty well, but something happened last month that I need to tell you about,” she explained. “Some of you may know about Pearl, my dog. Pearl came into my life in 2018, and almost immediately changed everything for me. As anyone who has had the pleasure of raising a dog can understand, my life grew exponentially. Pearl brought an immeasurable amount of joy and purpose into my world”

While Lorde noted that “Pearl had been ill in various forms his entire life,” they had a difficult time “figuring out what this illness was.”

Although the singer did not specify what Pearl had been sick with, she added that after Pearl “dropped some weight” last month, a specialist had “honed in on the problem” and the dog was getting the medicine he needed.

Although “everything was looking good,” Pearl’s health suddenly took a turn for the worse.

“One day we woke up and I knew, in that way mothers do, that he was sicker than we had realised, and that we were nearing a point where his body wasn’t going to be able to cope,” she wrote.

“Pearl had two cardiac arrests about an hour apart, and after the second one, he died,” she wrote. “I was holding him when he went, and I knew he knew that I was there. But this loss has been indescribably painful, and a light that was turned on for me has gone out.”

Lorde went on to share that although “Pearl visits me in dreams,” now that her dog has died she needs to take some time off from working on the album.

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“He was instrumental to the discovery that was taking place. I felt he led me towards the ideas. And it’s going to take some time, and recalibration, now that there’s no shepherd ahead of me, to see what the work is going to be,” she said. “So I’m asking for your patience, as 2020 comes around and you start to wonder where the next record is. I have lost my boy, and I need some time to see the good again, to finish making this for you.”

Thanking her fans for their “kindness, today and every day,” Lorde concluded: “It won’t be the same work — as anyone who has felt loss can understand, there’s a door that opens that you step through, and everything is different on the other side. But when this great loss crystallises inside me, and my chest rebuilds around it, hopefully I’ll be able to finish up, and share it with you, and we’ll all grow together, as we always do.”

This article originally appeared on People. For more stories like this, visit people.com.